Has anyone seen my roll of duct tape? Reflecting on 8 years of mission work

This November first Angie and I celebrated eight years on the foreign mission field. Eight years of believing God. Eight years of celebrating victories and enduring defeats. Eight years of experience things that put a smile on your face yet experiencing our share of things that simply make you cry. It has been a long hard eight years. Though it has also been rewarding.

The most interesting thing I has been the experience we have at this stage in our life. You would think that after eight years we would feel that we knew what we were doing. To be completely honest, in many ways it feels like we are just starting to figure things out. It is a humbling feeling to say the least. How can I best describe it?

I will use an illustration from a Christmas gift I received a few years ago: “365 things to do with duct tape”. The book featured 365 ways to use duct tape one for every day of the year. I was struck by the imagination of the authors as they came up with hundreds of purposes of duct tape. 365 ways to stick things together. Who would have ever imagined that there were so many things that one could do with duct tape?

As I look back at our ministry over these last 8 years I cannot help but think that we have been able to do something similar. Somehow, through the grace of God, we have been able to use enough creative duct tape to keep things stuck long enough for God to do some great things in so many lives.

When we started the orphanage we thought that people would hear about the need and would immediately help. Over the course of time we found that was not the case. Many stepped forward, yet many did not. So what did we do when we found ourselves with less than half of what you need to operate? We applied enough duct tape to continue helping orphans.

We started as pastors of 70 people. It felt that God was in the middle of it from the very beginning. Then came the explosive growth over the next two weeks. We went from 70 to 30. Explosive growth but reverse. In the midst of financial challenges, lack of leaders, time constraints, etc. we somehow found enough duct tape to help more people know God.

When we made the move from Santa Cruz to Cochabamba six years ago to start Bible schools we struggled the first three years. We saw less than 10 students attend each week and each we wanted to do nothing but quit as we tried to motivate even our teachers to come to class. Somehow we were able to find enough duct tape to keep being faithful with small beginnings.

Frustration, disappointment, feelings of failure and defeat, wanting to quit, question if God was even in what we were doing were constant reflections. Just doing whatever we could to just hang in there and apply enough duct tape until we had a testimony. We then and held onto that testimony like our lives depended on it. Each victory built a little more of a foundation to stand on, gathered a little more duct tape until the funding arrived, partners were connected and people were ministered to. As we actually could see God doing through us what He always could see. Thank God for duct tape. Until we look back eight years later and see how far we have been able to come. We can say not bad for a ministry built of duct tape.

In the next few weeks we will be finishing up our ministry activities for 2009. These last months are always a time of reflection over the year past and seeking God for the plans for the coming year. What does 2010 have in store for us? I am not completely sure; just have bits and pieces of what it will look like. But what I do know is that at the end of this year there is more hope than ever before. Maybe we will not have to use as much duct tape. Is this the best way to do ministry? No. I am believing that one day we will not have to do things this way. Yet, if we must I am sure we can find another roll lying around.

It is all about me.

“It is always all about you Mr. Missionary! You are such a joke!” This is the response that I received a couple of weeks ago when I placed a update on my facebook profile. Angie and I were in the US for a few days for a pastor´s conference and we decided that we would treat ourselves at to Red Lobster (One of the things that I crave from living in a country that is completely landlocked). The comment caught me off guard mostly because it came from a person that was very close to me. “It is all about you!”

I spent several days contemplating the statement. I have always believed that there is some degree of truth to every criticism. So the process of self examination began. The conclusion I came to was the person was both right and wrong at the same time. It was all about me and it was not all about me.

I remember when we felt that God wanted us to start the House of Dreams Orphanage. I was walking to my office one day and I saw some children sleeping on the streets. In my spirit I felt that God saying “someone has to do something about the orphans in this city”. Being the Christian that I am agreed and said “yes Lord, someone has to do something. I will pray about that” and I went on to my office. The next day as I was walking to the office I saw more children and God said the same thing, “someone must do something about the orphans in this city”. I agreed again “yes Lord someone must and I said I would pray about it” and went on to my office. The third day God said the same thing and the third time I realized that He wanted to tell me something; I was that somebody that needed to do something”. After a few weeks of starting the orphanage I realized as I played with the kids I needed the orphanage as much as the kids needed it. I needed a practical way to obey God and do what Jesus did.

I remember the first time we hosted our first international pastor’s conference. We really did not have a desire to host an international conference because we had our hands full doing with the national conferences that we conducting. We did not have the funding. Neither did we have the time. But one day while I was in pray God asked me “will you go to other countries around the world and help pastors?” I was so over overwhelmed with the opportunity to do something for my Father after he had done some much for me that I could not help but to say yes. The first conference was a nightmare. Just about everything went wrong that could possibility go wrong. But at the end of the day when a pastor that had travel 14 hours to attend the two day event came up to me with tears in his eyes thanking me I finally understood. I needed to host the conference even more than he needed to be there because I needed to see the heart of the Father pleased when we were able to help others.

When we started the church here in Cochabamba we started in the typical way that every first time pastor does. With much aspirations but very little experiences. The first few years were the hardest and most frustrating thing we ever did. We preached our hearts out only to see less and less people come back the next week. Until finally the day came when I looked my wife in the eye and told her it was not worth it. It was just too hard. Maybe God was not in it but was a good idea. No sooner did I make the decision to quit after service a elderly women from the congregation came up to me thanking me. She had recently had a stroke so half of her face was not working correctly. But as she grabbed my hands and thanked me over and over again with tears in her eye for God placing me in her life I came to the realization… again… that I needed to help her as much as she needed to be helped. ..even more… she was ministering to me as well.

The good thing about the comment that I received on facebook was it got me to contemplating was it all about me and the answer that I came up with was yes and no. I would hope it is not all about me when we minister to orphans help people and help our church members grow. I hope that in there somewhere it is all about God. On the other had in this mixture of serving God there is a part of me that comes into the picture, where it is all about me. My need to express my love for God in a real way. My need to somehow make an eternal difference. My need to hear my Heavenly Father say “son, I am proud of you”. So I would say that I am selfish and sacrificial at the same time. If that is possible?

What do I fear?

I recently came across a list or the most common things that people fear and I found the list very interesting (http://www.stresscenter.com/mwc/phobias/10-most-common-phobias.html)

At the top of the list was public speaking. People just did not enjoy speaking in front of crowds. Second was fear of heights. Next comes the fear of losing control followed by the fear of needles or pointed objects. Next is fear of thunder, confined spaces and vomit. Lastly are fear of dead things, cancer and social phobias.

From the article I gathered that if the average person had to give a public address about the medical process of taking blood from a dead cancer patient in a small meeting room on top of a skyscraper during a thunderstorm they might not be able to do it especially if someone vomited or they felt out of control. But sense this is most likely not going to happen to me in my lifetime the question arouse “what do I fear”? The answer is quite a number of things.

Heights are definitely on the top of my list. I have missed some of the most breath taking sites going through Colorado, Bolivia and Peru because I had my head imbedded in lap (Never knew I was that flexible). The truth of the matter is I do not fear heights by themselves. Neither do I fear falling. It is the abrupt stop at the end of the fall that I am not crazy about.

Needles I would say a definite yes as well. We almost did not get through the first step the adoption process with our soon to be Bolivian daughter because they said we had to give blood. I actually thought for a minute that it was a sign from God that we were not supposed to adopt because of the needle thing. I wish that they could have given me a shot to knock me out first so that they could take blood after I was unconscious but that would not had worked out either.

And the list goes on and on. The interesting thing is no matter how many time I have to drive along a mountain side or get stuck by that dreaded needle I still have an emotional fear attack before it happens in some shape of fashion. The bad news is that I will probably have it for the rest of my life. But the good news is that along the way I have learned how to deal with it so that it does not cripple me from doing what I need to do or what is demanded of me. So I guess you can say that being scared is not that big of a deal if I can learn to do it sacred.

Planning a bowling Championship. My lesson in humility

“I cannot play today … Fernando got chickenpox can we replace him with another player? … I do not have any money but I can I play? … Our team has two people that have not showed up. What should we do? … etc., etc., etc.”

For those of you who do not know me very well I am a bowler. I picked up the sport a few years ago mostly because there is not much to do Cochabamba, Bolivia. Another thing that you should know about me is have the DNA of leadership in my blood. You might even go as far as to call it a weakness. When I find something that I enjoy there is something within me that compels me to get others involved even when they do not want to. I am just wired that way. I sometimes find it hard to go to the grocery store without getting several people to help in the process.

So what do you get when you mix a leadership wired person with an activity that they enjoy? You end up forming a league. Get a bunch of people together and make a bowling association. Pretty innocent idea in theory until you start doing it.

Lesson in humility number one: We invited 8 churches all of which confirmed that they would be present for the leadership luncheon and planning meeting. Of the 8 only 4 showed up. Because they had confirmed their assistance at the restaurant we paid for the other meals of the other 4.

Lesson in humility number two: We planned a Saturday training session for those who did not know how to bowl to receive training. We reserved the bowling alley for the 40 people who had confirmed and 13 showed. I did not participate much because I was making phone calls seeing where everyone was.

Lesson in humility number three: The morning before the championship there was so much instability on our church team that we could not form our team until saw who showed up at the championship.

Lesson in humility number four: We planned for 6 teams. So many people came that we had to have 7 players. After making the adjustment at the last minute we ended up playing until 12:00 AM.

Lesson in humility number five: The excuses start rolling in. One player hurt his foot so he had to play on another day. One player had a birthday party to go to so she had to play on another day. Another player had to travel so they had to be rescheduled. One got grounded by their mother so they had to be rescheduled. Six people must have went in the rapture because they just did not show up the second day. One got the chicken pox. Another did not like their team. Etc, etc, etc. At the end of the day it might have been better to set-up a 24 hour help line to handle all of the support issues.

Lesson in humility number six: My score for the first day was pathetic because of the millions of little situations that aroused. “Pastor my score was recorded wrong … Pastor my ball is going to the gutter all of the time … Pastor where do I play at? … Can you teach me how to bowl a strike in the middle of the championship? … The lane is not working … How much do I need to pay?” and a million more questions. By the end of the first day I was so focused on everyone else that I was thrilled to have an average score.

Lesson in humility number seven: My secretary for the association and event was crying on the second day while trying to bowl because members of the team did not show up.

Lesson in humility number eight: “Dear pastor. Here is an email about the things that I think that are going wrong in the championship. We have been talking about it with a few people and we have noted a few things in detail. Just wanted to let you know because you will probably have to respond to these questions. Thanks. Blessings.”

So what did I learn? That in order to help others I must be more concerned about their success then my own personal bowling score. That most people do not realize the amount of work that goes into the things that they benefit from and that is okay. That falling short of our desired goals is a healthy part of the improvement process. Lastly when we can get others to leave their own little worlds and connect with others in on a social level we have done the earth a service. At the end of the day we filled the bowling alley and that is something we can rejoice in. Onward to the next event!

Click here to see more picture of the event on Facebook

Part of our Bowling team

Contemplating my exciting life

I received an email the other day. Now that I think about it was actually more of a comment in passing. “You guys live an exciting life.” The comment got me to thinking because I would not have described our life in that way. There are many words that I would use to describe our life but exciting was not one of them.

But now that I think about it I can see how someone might say that our life is exciting. First because we have pretty much have dedicated our lives to helping others. The church, pastor’s conference, the orphanage, etc. All with the goal of helping others. Secondly because we have the opportunity to see things that the average person does not get to see. We have been able to see some stuff. Seeing the largest salt field in the world in Bolivia was fun. Macchu Picchu was breath taking. Trying to maintain our balance in the highest city in the world was challenging. Rio de Janeiro was by far the most beautiful beach this Nebraska native has ever seen. From an outsiders point of view I can see how someone might say we live an exciting life.

But the strange thing is that the majority of the exciting things that people see on Facebook, Blogs or our web pages are simply things to help us maintain sanity. It is not that we going crazy. It is simply after almost 8 years on the foreign field we have finally found out that we have to make it a priority to sow into our sanity. So I guess what some would say is excitement I would say is a necessary.

The strangest thing in the world to me that I am still trying to figure out how it works is how something can be the most fulfilling thing in my life and at the same time and also the most frustrating. The hardest thing and the most enjoyable. The loneliest and the praise worthy. The most exciting and the most scary.

I know by sharing this post that I run the risk of writing things that may not be relevant to everyone that will read it. I usually try to stay away from writing things from my missionary gracing because… let´s face it… not everyone is a missionary. But I think for the most part we can relate that in the middle of all of this struggle to do what is pleasing to God there must be an element of excitement. Without that I do not think that we would all remain sane.

So do we live and exciting life. Yes and no. If that makes sense?

Comfort Food

I once heard a term used when my wife was pregnant to describe the eating habits of women when they’re pregnant. The term was called “comfort food”. I looked around on the internet in several different places and did not like any of the definitions so I made up my own:

“Comfort food is a type of food that brings you to a state of rest, satisfaction and peace. It momentarily distracts you from the pains of life, allows you to exhale and helps you to better cope with life.”

As I thought about it this week I came to the conclusion that comfort food with thjs definition does not necessarily have to be food. As I looked at the things that brought me comfort I remembered that going to the movies with my kids was comfort food. Also spending time with my wife. Bowling would be a comfort food. Spending time watching comedians online. All of these thing could hardly be described as things that I eat but they do bring me great comfort. So I have started not limiting my definition of comfort food to simply food.

I also have realized that comfort food or comfort activities help me to better cope with life. Here are a few things that help me cope with life. It is like medicine that a doctor gives to help cope with negative symptoms.

• When I feel over worked the prescription is eating at good restaurants. Nothing helps me more to get away than sitting down at my favorite restaurant.
• When I feel hurt because of what someone said to me I watching comedians on Youtube. There is just something about laughter that helps.
• When I am frustrated I talking with my wife. There are some things that you can only talk to your spouse about and still receive unconditional love.
• When I feel like I have not accomplished much I playing with my kids. There is nothing that brings smile quicker to my face then hearing my children laugh.
• When I need to detach I go Bowling. That is my sport. It is hard for people to call me when the music is blasting in the bowling alley.
• When life seems really hard I watch a movie. I just feel like being a part of something that is not necessarily real life. I like the “once upon a times” and the “they live happily ever afters”.
• When I need to relax I take a hot bath. In the world of stand up showers (Bolivia) the man with a bath tub and hot water is king.

These are some of the things that bring me comfort. I feel more comforted already just by listing them.

25 facts about me

Interesting facts about me
Let me try to give you some interesting facts about myself. I do not think I am going to be able to do 25. I am just not that interesting. But I will give you as many as I can.
1. I am an indoors person and not an outdoors person.

2. I feel I am qualified to do what I am doing just enough to get me in trouble.

3. I like bowling. Mostly because there is not much more to do in Cochabamba.

4. I live on top of the ministry office. Literally we live in an apartment on top of our office.

5. I have been on the field for 7 years and I feel like we are just starting to do our priorities.

6. I drink milk only in my cereal.

7. I am indifferent about traveling. I am just fine staying in the hotel.

8. I am not a coffee drinker. Never have liked it.

9. My favorite candy bar is watchamacallit. Every since I was little.

10. I have known my wife since I was in junior high. We did not start to like each other until we our junior year in high school.

11. I love technology. Nothing makes me happier than a new computer thing.

12. It is many times easier for me to speak in Spanish then English. My dreams are in two different languages.

13. Angie and I have pretty much had a date night every week since we have gotten on the missions field.

14. I enjoy rap music and R and B. Always have.

15. I have weighed 155 pounds since junior high. I have a very high metabolism.

16. I have to watch my sugar level. I have fainted preaching before.

17. I have more movies than most video stores. Again there is not much to do in Cochabamba.

18. I have an allergy to onions. Affects my throat for days.

19. I would not describe myself as a nice person.

20. My favorite food if pancakes and pizza

21. I like shopping. I may be the only man on planet each that likes to.

22. I once owned 50 pairs of tennis shoes. I worked in a shoe store during college.

23. The first thing that I look at when I meet someone is their feet. Again I worked in a shoe store for 5 years.

24. There is a part of me that likes scary movies.

25. I am a pastor and have probably worn a tie less than 20 times in the last 5 times.

13 interesting facts about our ministry

For the last few months there have been floating around this list of 25 interesting facts about yourself where they ask you to post and then ask others to do the same. I am not going to do that in this post because. But what I am going to do is give a list of 13 interesting facts about our ministry. Some things you probably know and some things you might not. Hope you enjoy them.
1. We have no degree in theology or Biblical studies. There you have it sports fans neither Angie nor I have a degree in formal studies. We have had a ton of training in our home church in Missouri and also have had a year of missions training in Tulsa but that is it.

2. We have been on the field for 7 years. You may have known this or not but Angie and I in November celebrated 8 years of the foreign mission field.

3. Our number one priority on the field is helping pastors. Chances are you have received a ton of information about orphanages, our home church, Christian schools, Bible schools, etc. but our number one priority is and always will be helping pastors. We do that through hosting conference, internet training, writing books, etc.

4. Angie and I have both written a number of books. You probably have not heard about this because all of our books are in Spanish but both Angie and I have written a number of books.

5. As a ministry we have over 31 people working for us. Orphanage 13, office 6, church 5, school 7. A lot of responsibility.

6. We see us working in Bolivia for a long time. We have always considered we would work in Bolivia until our children start going to high school and decide how much longer. That gives us some 7 mores and then we will decide how much longer.

7. I have a marketing degree that helps me in the ministry. It has helped me to no end to understand marketing in the missions calling that I have.

8. We are working with around to 4,000 pastors and leaders on a monthly basis. Again many do not realize this but over the years we have collected an email database and Spanish webpage that allows us to work with some 4,000 pastors and leaders on a monthly basis from our office in Cochabamba.

9. We have two people that have been working with us for more than 6 years. In our ministry office we have 3 people that have been working with us since we were in Santa Cruz 5 years ago. Our office administrator, our music leader and the person that edits our videos and audio teachings and conferences. They liked us so much they decided to move with us.

10. In the 7 years we have been on the field we have never been fully supported. It has always been our dream but has never happened yet. Hopefully before we finish it will.

11. There is no magic organization that fully supports us. This shocks many but we have not organization that carries the majority of our financial support. The largest church that supports us supports us at around 14% of our total income. All the rest are churches and individuals that do their best.

12. There is no organization that is our missions sending organization. This is probably one of the biggest differences between us and other organizations. We do not have a missions sending organization. We do have a home church that acts as our sending organization. We do have countless of churches and friends that help us, but as for an organization in the US that handles our operations there is not one. We do not think that it is the best plan but it has worked for us for now.

13. We have 28 children in our orphanage. People always ask us how many children do we have in our orphanage? At this time we have 28. We only take children that will be with us for long term. Also as we receive more financial help we receive more. They come to us from various stages from being abandoned to being left in trash cans.

That is about all that I can think about for now. Maybe I will try again later.

I give advice that I would never follow myself.

Okay so it has been a long time since the last time that I blogged and it will probably be a while longer because I am on my way to Uyuni tomorrow (amazingly I usually blog when I travel). To save a little face I have had this brewing in me for a while. I am a horrible blogger. I guess you could say that I am more of a Facebook. But I did notice something the other day a natural tendency that I have that was blog worthy.

I give advice that I would never follow myself. I know that may sound strange but let me explain.
The other day I had a potential missionary come up and ask me my advice about an opportunith they had. To make a long story short they had been presented an opportunity to do something that they had always desired to do in the area of ministry but they had to leave all they had, quit their job and take a number of risks. I advised them that it would be best to maintain their security and steady income. There were too many risks and to not make things any harder than they needed to be.
As I gave that advice to the potential missionary I can remember thinking “that is great advice but I would not do that”. I remember not too long ago being given the same opportunity and deciding to do the exact opposite. Before we came to the field I quit my job and for three months lived completely by faith as we traveled looking for people to partner with us and prepared to come to Bolivia.

As I thought about it I found peace in the fact that I did not give bad advice. I was not able to hear for that potential missionary what God was saying to them personally. The error was on the part of the potential missionary. He asked the wrong question. Instead of asking “what should I do in this situation” he should have asked “what would you do in my situation “. What I thought he should do is play it safe but what I would have done is take the risk. Amazing how the two questions seem the same but are actually very different.

Onward with the happy themes “A flood of emotions”

The other day I was talking with my wife and she made the dreaded question of what did I want to eat for dinner. I could not help but take advantage of the opportunity.

I immediately responded by saying “Pizza Hutt.” You should have seen the range of emotional expressions that were on her face when she heard my response. For those of you who do not know there is no Pizza Hutt in Bolivia. I then began to explain to her my reasoning.

“I said Pizza Hutt because it would be closer to get to than saying Godfathers (those from Omaha and St. Joseph know what God Father is Pizza is. There is a Pizza Hutt in Lima.).

Next the conversation went something like this:

Angie: “That is no fair there is no Pizza Hutt in Bolivia.”
DaRonn: “Okay how about Chili’s or Tony Romas or Friday’s.”
Angie: “Stop it!”
DaRonn: “Or maybe Wendy´s or even Runza.”
Angie: “AHHHH!!!”

And then I did it. I said the forbidden word in the Washington household.
“WHAT ABOUT KRISPY CREME!”

Then I saw the saddest look I have seen on her face in a long time it pretty much matched the one that I had on my face when I thought about the heavenly restaurant as well.
To think that simply saying words could elicit suck a sad look on one´s face. It was not really the words or the restaurant that caused the feeling but the lack of access to those restaurants. We had a craving, we could not fulfill that craving so we were sadden for a time.

So what do you do when there is no Krispy Kreme around? You try to find the next best thing. Some that helps distract yourself from your lack of opportunity. After talking about it with one another we came to the conclusion that if Krispy Kreme is the biggest sacrifice we had to make on the missions field we were doing darn good.

So there you have it. Another food post.